Perspective

So yesterday was quite a magical day. I don't celebrate Christmas but there is something about it that's magical. I love the Christmas trees and the lights all so beautifully decorated. It just makes me feel happy and peaceful. Anyways, yesterday as my parents and I went to a nearby park to take pictures of all the Christmas trees they had I decided I really wanted a photo for my Instagram page. A photo of me looking so professional trying to snap a picture using my dad's camera. And the reason I am mentioning this part is because that photo has such a greater meaning for me...I am quite the overthinker so bare with me! 

I really wanted a cool meaningful quote to match my picture and this was the perfect quote! "When Life Gets Blurry Adjust Your Focus" And as I posted the picture I really gave that quote some thinking! Dealing with diabetes has been really though lately. My motivation for it has been "blurry" and its been hard to get back on track. But yesterday made me realize that maybe I just need to "adjust my focus" by changing my perspective and mindset of things.

You see...perspective is really important! I can get two people to take a photo of the same area but the photos will differ depending on each person's perspective of how they see and capture the photo. And that is exactly the same thing with seeing perspectives of situations. Your eye is the camera lens and depending on how you see and react the photo (AKA. situation) will have a different outcome.

I totally understand though ... when we struggle it might be difficult to look on the bright side or the positive side of the situation but, at times that is exactly what is needed to be done to make things change for the better and allow you to change your actions and thoughts. So as I take some time to refocus to change things around, I challenge any of you going through a blurry time ... diabetes related or not ... to have some self-thinking time and figure out what you need to do to adjust your focus 

I really don't mean it...

Very often when diabetes stricks up in a conversation a common complaint or sentence my parents often joke about is my attitude when my blood sugars are out of whack! Or when i'm stubborn and refuse to share anything with my parents about my bloodsugars and refuse to take advice from them on how to better adjust myself to avoid the crazy numbers...i'm a pretty stubborn kid! 

And although it can be frustatring at times for them, I certainly don't wake up one day and decide i'll be stubborn, not care for my numbers and zone people out. The truth is I do that as ways to cope with the frustration of me struggling with my diabetes. Just like you shiver when you feel cold...its just a way your body deals with the cold temprature sensation.

I totally get it though...I know I can be pretty annoying when i'm on blood sugar roller coaster madness. I am short tempered with the highs and lows. I just want to lay in bed and sleep when i'm high and mostly i'm cranky and try to avoid socializing (probably in the other persons best intrest though) But i really just ask you to keep in mind when communicating with a diabetic that seems to be having a rough day that they certainly do not mean to be stubborn, mean or rude. It is just a coping mechanisim in some way as the body tries to adjust to the crazy day or period of blood sugars. 

Pushing Through

Let me tell you about the reseliance and strength of a person with type 1 diabetes. When we first get diagnosed we are taught to fight, push through the rough days and sail through the smooth days. We refuse to give excuses or give ourselves a day off even when we have every right to do so. 

But sometimes we go through rough periods called "diabetes burnouts" or if you're a teenager its called a "rebellious" period. This is defined as something that takes place when a person is either unwilling to change, or simply tired of the endless attention diabetes care requires. For each person this period can look different. From ways of coping, to how long it lasts to how they care for their diabetes during this period. Some might end up in hospital while others do the very bare managment required to keep them out of hospital however, one thing in common is that diabetes burnouts are draining and exhausting. 

Diabetes burnouts is really mentally a struggle. From having to convince yourself you're fine when all you've done today was sleep in. Having to convince yourself that you need to test your blood sugar and give insulin despite your mind playing tricks on you telling you "what diabetes...you have diabetes?" Having to tell youself you gotta do it as your mind tells you just start fresh tomorrow. Its a vicious cycle of not giving insulin, not checking blood sugars, not eating or eating a lot of uncovered carbs that seems hard to break. Its a cycle that seems to be long lasting and draging along day after day.

For anyone reading this that's going through a burnout or rough time with your diabetes let me assure you YOU ARE NOT ALONE! I'm going through it and i get how you feel. Rarley having the energy to workout, wanting to stay in bed and sleep all day, wondering why me? why was I chosen to have diabetes, why do I have to deal with this...Its frustrating and exhausting I know! but trust me you can push through. Reach out for help...it is very important to do so. There are a ton of awesome people that love you who would be glad to help. most importantly words from a wise friend...it is okay to ask for help, we all need it sometime. Just because you ask for help does not mean you are weak or uncapable it just means you need some support and that is ok. It took me 2 weeks before I asked for help. I spent 2 weeks trying to hint that I am struggling because I was shy to ask for help.

Asking for help can be from anyone like your parents, friends, families, diabetes team, psycologist or from the diabetes online community. There is plenty of help avaliable but it is important to take the first and brave step of asking for help...it is definetly not easy. And for those supporting, offer your help but don't ask the person everytime you talk to them about their bloodsugars, insulin or food intake because they are far more than just diabetes.

                                           

My Numbers? Ummm...It's Complicated

Very often I get a few comments from those around me around the lines "Why are you always high? Why are you always low? Why can't you just take your insulin count your carbs and that way you will have control over your numbers?"

Here is the thing though...diabetes isn't as simple as take you insulin and you should have a beautiful day of blood sugar numbers. If that was the case I assure you I would've had such awesome numbers because although I try and contain my frustration every time that number on the screen pops up as a high or low number a part of me gets annoyed. I can do everything right and still get a completely wacko other answer...why you may ask?

Well, our bodies are such beautiful creations that work in so many different ways. Everything and anything can affect our diabetes. Other than the well-known insulin and food...stress, exercise, happiness, fear, whatever emotion you are feeling will have an effect on our blood sugar. Sickness, dehydration, change in pressure and even getting a sunburn.  Those are just a few of the long list of factors. It's similar to a scale, a game of balance by trying to keep the scale stable. Now diabetes is different for everyone so for some people these factors might have a huge effect on their numbers while it won't affect someone else at all. But why do these factors affect blood sugars?

Well, it's all about hormones...all these effects releases hormones such as adrenaline that cause extreme blood sugar fluctuations. I can assure you that the majority of individuals with diabetes would love to have their numbers in range because they feel so much "fresher" when it is in range but  despite trying for some cases its out of our hands.

Stress causes blood sugars to run high 

When I have any vaccinations I immediately drop

Type 1 Diabetes Social Injustice

Diabetes is not an easy disease to manage. It takes effort, time and extreme calculations and even then you do not always receive the results you put so much effort to achieve. Type 1 Diabetes is a disease that no one asked to have and would wish it away in a flash if they could. Diabetes requires a lot of motivation and hope to keep you going through the tough times. But, what if you don't have the basics to manage your diabetes such as education, supplies, doctors and support team...where do you even begin to try and live a healthy life?

Today I had the opportunity to go present to a social justice class about diabetes costs and its control by pharmaceutical companies. I was quite nervous, to say the least, but it went well. Over the past year, I have been researching about the overall cost of living with diabetes and the impacts it has on the individual and their family. Since 2002 to 2013 insulin prices have increased by about 200%, an increase from about $231 to $736. Pharmaceutical companies have full control over cost of diabetes supplies and keep bumping up prices as the percentage of newly diabetics increase. Profit is all they care about! For the majority (80%) of type 1 diabetics that live in low or middle-income families, those costs can be a huge burden on the family. It is unacceptable that a life-sustaining drug (insulin) discovered in 1921 is still out of reach for so many. With education and proper management those living with diabetes can lead a healthy life, however, too many in third world countries diabetes is a death sentence.

For these individuals having access to the supplies can be a struggle either they need to travel a couple hours weekly to purchase them or their parents / themselves need to work relentless hours to be able to afford them it can leave them without hope for the future because carelessly managing blood sugars have serious complications such as organ damage, amputations, kidney damage, blindness or even death. If a family in Brazil has to spend 82% of their income just on supplies how do you expect them to survive and manage their money to pay rent, bills and raise a family? When 1.3 billion people live on less than $1.25 a day what do you expect them to do to afford a vial of insulin?

Change really starts by one person at a time. Be that person...help out some of the greatest organizations tackling this problem such as T1 International and Insulin For Life who advocates and support t1s in need. Use social media for by sharing your thoughts and spreading awareness about this issue. Share this blog using the hashtag #Type1DiabetesSocialInjustice or reach out to me and I can help you get in contact with the correct people to help support this issue. Together we can work towards seeing a day where every diabetic has the required supplies available at their fingertips.

US Prices

A Different First Impression

Technically if I had my life together and was organized I would have written this yesterday. I'm still adjusting to the university life...my blood sugars seem to be cursed or something just either crazy high or crazy low! Also I never thought my feet could ever walk as much as I do...oh boy!

Anyways to my main point...first impressions! Just like every teenager, fitting in is such a vital part in their teenage mind. The fears of standing out, not fitting in or being viewed as lame or rude. Although i'm a shy person i'm working on opening up and talking and getting to know others but some days when blood-sugars aren't cooperating that action can be extremely challenging, especially for an introvert like me.

Yesterday I had my very first lab and just like every time I meet someone new I want them to have a good impression of me. I want them to see the real me and not see diabetes overshadowing me however, yesterday was quite challenging. After having half my site disconnecting and not realizing till I got home I was running between 20 and above 33.3 (360-600) (the maximum my meter can read is 33.3) for around 6 hours. I could feel my leg and arm muscles fatigue, excruciating headache, tingling tongue, super hungry but feeling aggravated at the same time and not wanting to eat anything. I was drinking heaps of water and i'm sure I've went to the washroom more times thank you can count!  You see I could've gone home but I cared about the first impression of being on time and prepared. During the lab I tried hard to focus but the information was barley going through. I would read my instructions 4-5 times before I knew what step I needed to be done next...through this procedure I worried what first impression my lab partner would think of me? Stupid? Takes forever to understand? Or what would the TA might think? Being high I get frustrated easily, super impatient, I struggle processing information and feel lethargic overall...not really the reflection I would want someone to think of me

In general first impressions can be an important part of friendship, group work or basically any interaction with others because our brain automatically does what it does and sometimes diabetes overshadow the real me!

My bloodsugars over the 6 hours

Diabetes and Driving

Just like anything that diabetes mixes with it makes things more complicated. Not in the sense that things are impossible to do just more challenging. I'm currently in my 2 driving lesson. Lets begin by mentioning I've always had an unusual fear or driving, I have such a scary feeling when i'm driving and I go over the speed of 40...I know old grandma driving here. But here is where diabetes plays a role...you pretty much need numbers in range to be able to drive, well in my case anyways! The rule is as long as you're above 5 you're able to drive because that will reduce the risk of having low blood sugars while driving.
That is never a worry for me because I get anxious to go driving which means my bloodsugars spike because of the adrenaline. Today I was told my reaction time was slow. Reaction time on turns, switching lanes, pushing gas pretty much anything to do with reaction was low. Although my blood sugar wasn't too high (14.4) I realized that even numbers that high along with stress affected my reaction time. So although driving is a great privilege, with diabetes it can be tough because I have to find that perfect balance between high and low

PS. To all my friends reading this I promise you i'm a good driver and you're in safe hands when i'm driving...it all depends on my blood sugars though (may the odds be ever in you favour) Haha

BG post driving 

Back To University / College Guide

Okay, let me be honest here. I was a nervous wreck to start post secondary but hey, it's not as nerve-wracking as I thought. However,  what a transition it is from high school. Although it has only been a few days, here are 4 things I have learnt in coloration with my diabetes.

1. Adjusting meal timings:

- Since starting university things have been a little bit chaotic. My schedule is all over the place and I'm constantly busy either walking around campus or in a lecture that usually the last thing that crosses my mind is food and I realise that I haven't eaten anything but apples and breakfast the whole day. In addition to that, knowing food areas and what they sell around your campus is important. Personally, I decided to pack leftover food as I am a picky eater but I do have a meal plan for emergency purposes like forgetting my food or need food to treat a low.

2. Professors: 

- It is my responsibility and a super important one to let my professors know about my diabetes for a couple reasons. Some lectures have a "no eating in class" rule so in the case of a low I will need to eat or if I need to leave class. Taking chemistry means I will have lab time, in the case of a low I will need the TA support so I can treat without causing any danger with chemicals and to be able to get food in the lab. Lastly, profs need to know for exam and testing purposes. If you are a quite person about diabetes I would suggest emailing your prof, that way you can avoid the face to face conversation.

3. Walking:

- OMG! I can not begin to mention how much walking I've been doing around campus. What a great exercise and movement especially following a 3hr lecture but honestly it is resulting in nothing but constant lows and no matter what I eat. It is really important to have some quick on the go snack with you all the time and to adjust ratios to try and prevent as many lows as possible. Afterall low blood sugars are never fun.

4. Sharps Box

- Before starting university it is important to know where sharp boxes are located. In my university, they are located in some of the bathrooms so it is important ti know which bathrooms in case I need to change my site or if I decide on going on a pump break I need to know where to through my pen needles. 

Let me know if you have any other tips and tricks about dealing with diabetes and university. Feel free to comment below 

It's That Time Again

It's that time again...every three months! In about 10 days. The dreaded endo appointment. I've always had mixed feelings towards doctor visits in general. The idea of being in a room with a doctor or two talking or questioning me keeps me stressed for days prior leading up to the appointment. Being in hospitals has always been something I despised...definitely not fun. The appointment usually takes about an hour were blood work is done, blood pressure and weight are recorded followed by seeing my team. Recently my diabetes team (endocrinologist, nurse, dietician) would enter the room at different times rather than have all three be in the room at the same time. I am not sure why they started doing that but I am glad they did that because it helped ease down on my anxiety of the visit.

But I know what many of you might be questioning: "why is she even anxious? it's just an appointment

Despite my team being super supportive and also encouraging...it is me that makes this harder on myself. I am usually hard on myself...I strive for improvement and get easily disappointment when my efforts don't add up or when I go through a rough period dealing with my diabetes. Having my A1C results feels like a pass or fail exam...a mindset that I am working on changing. An A1C is a blood test done that shows blood sugar control over the past three months.

I always try and add humor into the appointment to ease down on my anxiety a bit that is why it is important finding a team that you feel comfortable with and trust. Sadly though it is my last appointment before transitioning to adult care. The good part though is instead of the appointments becoming every three months they are now twice a year.

Summer and Diabetes

Woah! All I did was blink and summer is almost over! Between my sailing trip, flying back to Egypt to visit family and staying at a beach resort I was fully occupied with adventures. As fun as summer is things can get a bit complicated on a diabetes level for three main reasons:

Holiday Mode:
-Routines really help keep blood-sugars more stable. While on holiday having a routine can be tough. My workout timings and food aren't the same everyday. The amount of sleep I get is usually very minimal...although these changes sound minor it can really throw me off my control as blood sugars become unpredictable at times. In addition being on holiday is meant to be a relaxing time period which can cause individuals to slack with their diabetes care...I know that definitely happened to me during my trip.

Exercise:
-My passion in life is staying active and exercising. It's a way for me to escape from life and does magical wonders to my blood sugar. However, when on holiday working out can be a bit tough. (I know I can workout at home but that's just boring). Having different exercise levels throughout the summer affects bgs greatly. For example I can be active for 3 days straight and have tons of lows and than my activity level can drop for the next week and I'll start having stubborn highs that can be extremely frustrating at times.

Food:
-Before anyone gets me wrong on this...yes type 1 diabetics can eat whatever they want as long as they take their insulin but just like everything else there are good food and not-so good food. As a picky eater I eat the same food pretty much every day so I'm no expert at carb counting. I usually have low carb and 'healthy' food for the most part. On holiday this can be difficult as your control of food is limited. Being invited to people's houses every other day you have no idea what they will cook and how many carbs are in the food so it's a "guess the carbs and bolus" game which can mess up blood sugars big time. In addition, Egyptian food is fat rich and that can have a huge effect on my numbers.

There are minor topics such as stress level, excitement, jetlag...etc that I haven't mentioned. I decided to stick to the main once that affected me

Controlling blood sugars during the summer time can be difficult due to a hectic schedule and feeling out of sync but I always try and remind myself that it's important to breath and enjoy the moment

Full of laughter on my sailing trip

Family time and cousin love 

Rocking the banana boat 

Living With Type 1 In The Middle East

Prior to moving to Canada I lived in Saudi Arabia for 9 years. Being diagnosed in the Middle East had its own experiences. To begin it all off in Saudi Arabia there is no such thing as a family physician/doctor...if you feel sick you just make an appointment and see the specialist or if it's urgent you go sit in the waiting room in hopes someone doesn't show up or cancel their appointment. Their is no such thing as a "children's hospital" so ultimately you had the choice to go to any specialist in any hospital in the city.

Access to insulin is accessible to those with insurance or else families would have to pay out of pocket as the government puts no help in assisting those in need. However, access to technology was less accessible and only those who could afford the cost of a pump 100% out of pocket or young diabetics with insurance could have a pump. At 12 years old my insurance said I was too old for a pump and the only way I could get a pump was to pay for it 100% out of pocket! (12...too old? Crazy I know). And if I was able to get a pump my choices where only limited to Medtronic. I am not sure if CGM (continuous glucose monitor) are more popular now but living in Saudi Arabia I've never heard of it at all and I can assure you if I go back and ask my endo about it she would have no clue what i'm taking about.

As part of my religion there is a month called Ramadan, in which we are expected to fast from dawn to sunset. By fasting I mean no food, water or anything that pleases the body. It is controversial wither diabetics should fast or not, God stated that those who are suffering from an illness, travelling, are elderly, pregnant, breastfeeding, diabetic or going through menstrual bleeding are exempt from the fasts. However, out of the 7 endos I had (I know I had my share of doctors) only 1 has told me not to fast show the rest left the choice up to me in which I chose to fast. While on shots things were tricky and numbers remained high through the fasting period (high 300s...17s) due to the body being put in starvation mood. Things got a bit easier on a pump along with a CGM as I had more flexibility and could easily adjust ratios while monitoring my numbers closely using the sensor.

The Middle East lacks support for individuals with diabetes. They have no organization such as JDRF that hosts events for kids or annual walks. In addition, there are no support groups something in my opinion is important for every diabetic

A couple things different in regards to the diabetes team in Canada and the Middle East is...firstly, in Canada each person has a diabetes team which consists of an endo, nurse, dietician and social worker. Contact between the patient and nurse is through email in order to adjust ratios. In Saudi Arabia there is an endo and a dietician if you chose to see her and contact between the endo and patient is by phone call biweekly to adjust ratios of needed. The second difference I noticed is the approach to tackling this disease. Doctors in Saudi approach it through diet, more like a type 2 approach...adjusting your food to your insulin needs. I was put on a special diet with certain foods to eat and timings. I was told to eat protein whenever I am hungry and try and limit carb intake and only have them in main meals. In comparison to the approach in Canada where we are taught to adjust or insulin to our carb intake.

Pump Break

December 8 2014...a day I shall always remember. It wasn't the day of my diagnosis or anything...it was the day I finally started on an insulin pump. I was super excited to go from having to take 6 shots a day to changing a needle placed in my abdomen every three days. Despite the flexibility and better control it offers a year later and it was time for me to have a pumpcation...a fancy word for a pump vacation. 

Personally I believe it's needed for me to get disconnected from my pump and go back to shots for anywhere from a day to a month. There are quite a couple reasons why I need these vacations which I'm sure many individuals with diabetes can relate too. 

1) Attachment Break 

Although the pump has many benefits having something attached to you 24/7 can get frustrating at times. The only times I detached from my pump was during swimming or a shower and that was for short periods of time. When I first went back to insulin shots it felt weird because I always felt like I left something behind at home. When I went to the gym I would always panic thinking I left my pump at home and that I was getting no insulin in me. 

2) Old School 

A pump is basically my life saver of embarrassment because it does all the math for me. All I need to do is push a couple buttons and it figures out how much insulin I need to correct my blood sugar if it's high and how much insulin I need for my carb intake. Going of a pump for sometime allows me to refresh all the old school fashion diabetes ways that they taught me upon diagnosis, this can be useful incase my pump decides to malfunction than I know how to do the basics of diabetes. 

3) CGM break

Since my CGM connects to my pump, having a pump break also meant having a CGM break. This can be beneficial if I was off the sensor for a long period (over 2 months) which I was not. Being off the sensor allows you to be in-touch with your body more in the sense of feeling your low and high blood sugars. My experience with this though wasn't successful for a couple reasons: firstly the longest I've been off the pump was 3 weeks. Secondly I feared having lows since I can't feel them that I let my bgs run higher than I usually like them to be. Being off the sensor also made me have to wake up every night at 3am to check my bloodsugar to insure it was in good range. 

4) Carb Break 

This is a bit more of a personal reason that very few can relate too. With my pump gives me the option of seeing my carb intake which became an obsession with me. I ended up insuring that my carb intake was no more than 40g a day so going on a pump break made me relax a bit from obsessing over my carbs as I didn't track them therefore, not knowing how much I ate in a day. 

5) Special Occasions

Life is an adventure full of events. On special events like graduation, prom, weddings...etc where I will where a dress and be all fancy or even beach days I detach my pump and go back to shots just for the day. This gives me a peace of mind as I don't have to worry where I will put my pump

Overall, a pump break has it pros and cons but I believe it is needed. Definitely one of the disadvantages is having to record my blood sugar numbers something my pump and meter did automatically. 

A couple things I noticed is when switching from pump to shots and back to pump something my team and I noticed were that my numbers were drastically lower during the first 2-3 days of switching. After my 3 days my insulin dosages went back to normal. Switching to shots though needed more adjusting in order to prevent highs. 

Correcting blood sugar with insulin shot

Blood Sugar records (if I have to use it I gotta make it look pretty ;)

The Hardest Part

Very often when people find out I have diabetes they respond with something around the lines "Omg I would never survive having to take needles/shots everyday" 

However, although this may vary for some, the majority of diabetics have agreed that the shots are the easiest things this disease has to offer. A month into diagnosis and it pretty much becomes a routine: I wake up and reach for my meter to check my blood sugar, bolus before a meal and even treat a low while half asleep. 

6 years into this disease though and the struggle isn't the physical aspects of this diabetes as much as the mental impact it can have on ones emotions. To know that no matter how hard you try numbers won't be perfect, to live the emotions that a high and low blood sugar has to offer, the constant thought of this won't go away and I will have to take care of it for as long as a cure is available, to know the future of this disease if you don't take care of it and the burden it offers can sometimes become over whelming and frustrating. Let me clarify, not every day is lived overwhelmed, in fact it rarely occurs...I'm just like every other teenager a goofy, sassy, athletic and full of life 18 year old

On the flip side diabetes help empowers a person and through a life of shots and pricks it has its positives.

From Good To Bad In Seconds

If you've ever spent a day with a person with diabetes you'd know that things can happen fast! 

Today seemed like a good day to spend it at the sporting club...my family and I went around 4 to have lunch there before my soccer training. Sounds like a normal day! Once we settled and ordered our food, some delicious cheese pastries...my favourite I decided to pre bolus for my food. 60g injecting 8.5u into me and waited anxiously for the food. 

I waited and waited and the food took forever...it finally arrived an hour after I had bolused. As I took my first bite my pump starting beeping alerting that my BG was 3.9. No worries...I was already eating and it will soon go up I thought. 

Moments later things took a quick turn...all I could see in front of me was hazzy, blurry and double visioned. Barley able to blurt words out of my mouth I asked for my meter. My mum quickly checked my BG which was 1.4 (25 mg/dl) gave me some tablets and went to get me some juice or anything sugary she could buy...there was no way she was going to wait patiently for 15 mins to see if I needed to retreat. 

All I could feel was the numbness of my mouth and tongue. I was trembling and could barley keep still...felt like I was sitting in -40C temperature in short sleeves and shorts from how much I was trembling. I felt pretty awful, it's like I have ran 50km with only 3 hours of sleep! I felt really unwell that I started to cry...not something you expect an 18 year old to do in public but when your body and brain are deprived from glucose it happens. 

As I patiently sat trying to stay awake with the help of my aunt and mom my blood-sugars started rising and I started becoming more energetic however, there was no way I could go to my soccer training. My energy level was still low and it would take me another 30mins to fully recover which would be too late to go for soccer.

Asking For Help

Me being me, I've always been independent and wanting to learn and do things on my own. I love helping people and offering a hand whenever I could however, I don't like asking for help especially when it comes to diabetes, for a couple reasons. Firstly, I feel like I'm bothering the person and secondly, I feel weak and unable to care for my own diabetes. 

 A while ago during a bootcamp class I dropped low in which my blood sugar would not rise. I treated as I should however, my blood sugar was quite stubborn. I sat silently in the corner without asking for help despite needing it as I was feeling really low and unwell but I feared to ask for help and waited till my instructor noticed me and came over and helped. 

Another incident was a month ago on a sailing trip I went on. My blood sugars were constantly going low and although I was frustrated and annoyed from not having control I refused to ask for help for the first few days until I had a conversation with the cook on the boat who in short told me I should ask for things when I need it. This made me realize that asking for help doesn't make me weak, unable to care of myself or any less independent than anyone else around me. In fact, asking for help makes me more dependent as I noticed when I needed help and asked for it. 

I share this because I know many others like me feel that way. It's okay to ask for help...we all need someone to lean on at times.

                                        Blood sugars during the bootcamp class

Diabetes and Exercise

For those that know me know that my love for sports is unconditional and that I'd probably be down to workout, go for a run or play any sport at any time...even if I'm tired, fasting or having to wake up early. Staying active is my stress relieve, my moment of freedom and does miracles to my bloodsugars. 

However, diabetes being diabetes, it doesn't always co-operate well. Their are guidelines to follow but each person is different and it all comes with trial and error. Some things I know, if I start at a bloodsugar lower than 5 I'll end up going low and anything higher than 15 I'll be far too exhausted. Cardio makes my bloodsugar drop and weights make my bloodsugar go high. 

But, as simple as it sounds more factors are involved. My excitement, last time I ate, what I ate and the last time I exercised. I have been training soccer the past couple of weeks and I've noticed my bloodsugars drop and remain low for up to 48 hours post training...crazy right? But on days like today where I'm excited to go to training and didn't get much sleep the previous night I went high high high...totally unexpected. 

Another example was on my sailing trip last month, I went for a hike...nothing too crazy but I lowered my basals and reduced my breakfast insulin but still ended up going low and needed 13 glucose tablets to get my blood sugars up...I usually require 3-4...crazy I know! 

This just comes to show how unpredictable diabetes can be and how us as individuals with diabetes need to prepared for whatever the outcome might be and on top of things...which is not always easy I'll admit! But the highs and lows won't stop me.

Hypo-unawarness

Hypo-unawareness, a medical term given to not feeling low blood sugars! When a person has a low blood sugar they would start feeling symptoms such as exhaustion, dizziness, confusion, impatience and irritability. These symptoms are felt when the individuals blood sugar starts dropping below 4 mmol/l (72 mg/dl) however, for those who have hypo-unawareness have reduced symptoms making them feel their lows at a much lower blood sugar reading. Referring to myself, I feel my blood sugars at 2.5 (45) or lower for the most part. This can be extremely dangerous if not felt and treated in time as it can result in me having a seizure. Although my CGM (continuous glucose monitor) a device inserted in the interstitial fluid that gives a blood sugar reading ever 5 mins has saved me several times by suspending my insulin pump from administrating insulin, just like all technology it has failed me leaving me with a couple close calls. If you know of a person with diabetes acting out of sync they might be dealing with a low so please help them out because lows are not fun at all! On this note a special thank you to anyone reading this who has helped me while I'm dealing with a low blood sugar, I know I'm not always the happiest during those moments.

One of the many times my CGM saved me by suspending
my pump for 5 hours before I woke up to its alarms.

Frequent thoughts

Sometimes I wonder what life would be like if I never got diabetes. Would I be as obsessed as I was with sweets, would I be extremely overweight by now…would I even care how much I weighed or how I looked? How many carbs are in a piece of chocolate? Would I even know what carbs really are and other than what we learnt in biology? Would I know how each macronutrient affected my body? Would I be as healthy and active as I am right now…what about the way I process my thoughts would that be easier? Would I be less of a worrier and an over thinker? I just wish I had some answers sometimes…do I really deserve all the pricks and pokes and appointments? Do I deserve feeling crappy when dealing with a blood sugar rollercoaster? Do I deserve any of what diabetes brings? If I never got diabetes would I have stumbled across my strength? Would I have met all the great people that came across my life cause of diabetes? Would I have touched people’s life without dealing with this disease? Would I still want to become a dietician or be interested in food and nutrition? Would I even know what diabetes is without having it? I know God has a plan and everything happens for a reason. I know I have the strength to beat this disease and mostly I know there is a reason for getting this disease. I know I have managed to help people and inspire others, touch people's lives and prove to myself that I can achieve more than I believe. I know this disease has made me healthier (in some way) and much stronger and dependent than I had ever imagined. It is all part of a plan!

About Me

Many have told me I should start my very own blog about my journey with type 1 diabetes. I have always thought that I was hand picked by God to have diabetes so I can reach out and offer support too many who feel alone or struggle with this disease, so hopefully this blog along with my Instagram  (keraby_t1d) will help me achieve that goal.

As a starter blog, I thought I should share a bit about myself. I'm Mariam Elkeraby, 18 years old and  I'm originally from Egypt. On Feb 13, 2010, almost 6 years ago I was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes. At first, just like any other newly diagnosed I feared for what is to come and was unsure of my future. I was a very closed up person and avoided letting anyone know about my diagnosis. However, many years later I have decided that this disease is there to make me stronger and will not by any means step in the way of allowing me to achieve my potential. Hopefully, through this blog, I will be able to reach out to several individuals with diabetes around the world and spread awareness of what diabetes is all about.

I am currently on a Medtronic insulin pump for the past two years along with the enlite sensor.

Please feel free at any time to leave feedback or topics you are interested about. I would love to hear from those following the blog