Perspective

So yesterday was quite a magical day. I don't celebrate Christmas but there is something about it that's magical. I love the Christmas trees and the lights all so beautifully decorated. It just makes me feel happy and peaceful. Anyways, yesterday as my parents and I went to a nearby park to take pictures of all the Christmas trees they had I decided I really wanted a photo for my Instagram page. A photo of me looking so professional trying to snap a picture using my dad's camera. And the reason I am mentioning this part is because that photo has such a greater meaning for me...I am quite the overthinker so bare with me! 

I really wanted a cool meaningful quote to match my picture and this was the perfect quote! "When Life Gets Blurry Adjust Your Focus" And as I posted the picture I really gave that quote some thinking! Dealing with diabetes has been really though lately. My motivation for it has been "blurry" and its been hard to get back on track. But yesterday made me realize that maybe I just need to "adjust my focus" by changing my perspective and mindset of things.

You see...perspective is really important! I can get two people to take a photo of the same area but the photos will differ depending on each person's perspective of how they see and capture the photo. And that is exactly the same thing with seeing perspectives of situations. Your eye is the camera lens and depending on how you see and react the photo (AKA. situation) will have a different outcome.

I totally understand though ... when we struggle it might be difficult to look on the bright side or the positive side of the situation but, at times that is exactly what is needed to be done to make things change for the better and allow you to change your actions and thoughts. So as I take some time to refocus to change things around, I challenge any of you going through a blurry time ... diabetes related or not ... to have some self-thinking time and figure out what you need to do to adjust your focus 

I really don't mean it...

Very often when diabetes stricks up in a conversation a common complaint or sentence my parents often joke about is my attitude when my blood sugars are out of whack! Or when i'm stubborn and refuse to share anything with my parents about my bloodsugars and refuse to take advice from them on how to better adjust myself to avoid the crazy numbers...i'm a pretty stubborn kid! 

And although it can be frustatring at times for them, I certainly don't wake up one day and decide i'll be stubborn, not care for my numbers and zone people out. The truth is I do that as ways to cope with the frustration of me struggling with my diabetes. Just like you shiver when you feel cold...its just a way your body deals with the cold temprature sensation.

I totally get it though...I know I can be pretty annoying when i'm on blood sugar roller coaster madness. I am short tempered with the highs and lows. I just want to lay in bed and sleep when i'm high and mostly i'm cranky and try to avoid socializing (probably in the other persons best intrest though) But i really just ask you to keep in mind when communicating with a diabetic that seems to be having a rough day that they certainly do not mean to be stubborn, mean or rude. It is just a coping mechanisim in some way as the body tries to adjust to the crazy day or period of blood sugars. 

Pushing Through

Let me tell you about the reseliance and strength of a person with type 1 diabetes. When we first get diagnosed we are taught to fight, push through the rough days and sail through the smooth days. We refuse to give excuses or give ourselves a day off even when we have every right to do so. 

But sometimes we go through rough periods called "diabetes burnouts" or if you're a teenager its called a "rebellious" period. This is defined as something that takes place when a person is either unwilling to change, or simply tired of the endless attention diabetes care requires. For each person this period can look different. From ways of coping, to how long it lasts to how they care for their diabetes during this period. Some might end up in hospital while others do the very bare managment required to keep them out of hospital however, one thing in common is that diabetes burnouts are draining and exhausting. 

Diabetes burnouts is really mentally a struggle. From having to convince yourself you're fine when all you've done today was sleep in. Having to convince yourself that you need to test your blood sugar and give insulin despite your mind playing tricks on you telling you "what diabetes...you have diabetes?" Having to tell youself you gotta do it as your mind tells you just start fresh tomorrow. Its a vicious cycle of not giving insulin, not checking blood sugars, not eating or eating a lot of uncovered carbs that seems hard to break. Its a cycle that seems to be long lasting and draging along day after day.

For anyone reading this that's going through a burnout or rough time with your diabetes let me assure you YOU ARE NOT ALONE! I'm going through it and i get how you feel. Rarley having the energy to workout, wanting to stay in bed and sleep all day, wondering why me? why was I chosen to have diabetes, why do I have to deal with this...Its frustrating and exhausting I know! but trust me you can push through. Reach out for help...it is very important to do so. There are a ton of awesome people that love you who would be glad to help. most importantly words from a wise friend...it is okay to ask for help, we all need it sometime. Just because you ask for help does not mean you are weak or uncapable it just means you need some support and that is ok. It took me 2 weeks before I asked for help. I spent 2 weeks trying to hint that I am struggling because I was shy to ask for help.

Asking for help can be from anyone like your parents, friends, families, diabetes team, psycologist or from the diabetes online community. There is plenty of help avaliable but it is important to take the first and brave step of asking for help...it is definetly not easy. And for those supporting, offer your help but don't ask the person everytime you talk to them about their bloodsugars, insulin or food intake because they are far more than just diabetes.